So its almost been a year..UPDATE

Hey everyone (as in anyone who reads this) I know I know. It's been almost a year since I last wrote and for that I'm rather sorry. I thought Christmas is creeping up on me and I had been get my derriere into gear! So here I am :) To be honest this year has been pretty rough. My brother's marriage fell apart and this has had quite an impact on my family and I. He moved in with us and we've had to witness him battling the confusion and hurt over the last seven months. The children have also suffered. More the oldest nephew than the younger.. I think Ben still finds it all so confusing. It really has been heartbreaking..but a time to draw nearer to Christ and I beleive God can bring restoration. He already has saved my brother. In was in these hard times that he finally surrendered to God. 

He since has gone through rough patches as we all do in our walk with the Lord (I myself am struggling a lot..but will go into that later). Please keep him and my family in your prayers..I would very much appreciate it. As for me I've gone through some changes. Why I'm still the same on the outside (maybe a few kg's lighter ;) ) but aside from that I very likely look the same. Inwardly however I've been suffering. I don't usually go deep into details..this is the internet after all..but tbh I don't really care in some ways. I mean why hide behind the screen..why shouldn't I let people see me for me? But to spare you details (cos I'm contradictory like that ;) ) I will just say I'm in a season of well warfare really. And it's emotional to be perfectly honest. I've made a few mistakes; let a few people back in my life..which I'm feeling now probably wasn't the best idea. I've kinda gone my own way and I'm trying to get back to that place where all I cared about was my heart and how the Lord felt about me. Instead I've fallen into the trap of well self. I'm worried how I look and act, and how I appear to people (and particular people)..its a disgrace really. I don't even know how I got here. 

Its been really hard to be honest. And I've probably pushed away a lot of people in the process..mainly God. It's like "no I can just fix this on my own..it'll be okay" but really I cant. Please pray for me too. Sorry for this so far downer of a update. There have been some good changes. My boss recently moved away so there has been a change of ownership in the store where I work. I'll admit I was at first quite apprehensive but have found the new boss and his lovely wife are well lovely. They for one always have food in the staff room for employees...that is a WIN in my books tehe ;p Another thing, I have officially got my gun license. Yes I actually hunt. I definitely am not the hunting type as many of my friends whom I've told have said, but I can assure you I definitely can slip into tomboy mode very easily. (I have brothers to thank for that). Thus far I have been rather unsuccessful in my hunting journey (only a few rabbits and wallaby's here and there) but they do say "practice makes perfect"..rather I say "practice makes better" ..(really who's perfect?). 

 I have also changed quite a bit in terms of health and fitness. I think I once blogged about my love for the BAR METHOD exercise regime but lately I've gotten into running, Crossfit (just at home or at the local school..no gym where I live unfortunately), Jillian Michael's dvds, yoga and also weights. Yes I lift. Just dumbbells at this stage as that's all I have. I've been meaning to invest in a barbell..but I think I'll have to wait until finances are up. My brother has become my new workout buddy too so that has been fun and motivating. It's good having someone to train with. When I first started working out it was just me..and tbh I'm quite an independent person (probably too independent at times!) and it actually worked out alright but it seems now that I've had someone to keep me on track it has been very helpful and I'm seeing results (yay!!). Eating havn't been soo fantastic especially this month :p but once Christmas is past I'll get back into eating clean and training mean. I think I'll post a few recipes soon too. :) Anyway this is kind of short but I have jobs that I really need to do..I've been procrastinating a lot lately. Love me :) x

 "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." - Earl Nightingale